And, to the vault of unnecessary remakes, we add Fright Night, the 2011 reboot of the 1985 vampire film of the same name.The original is a camp, silly, funny, frightfest, scored with silly, plodding 80s beats, and starring a vampire who dresses like he's been pilfering from Jared Leto's stage wardrobe. The remake stars Colin Farrell.
I don't mean to be a traitor to my country. Farrell is a very fine actor, and he showed real range in In Bruges and Intermission. But when I think of Colin Farrell, I don't think scary, I don't think vampire. I think skanger, or wise-cracking Irishman, possibly a Hollywood leading man, at a stretch (dreamy bad boy anyone? I don't get the appeal to be honest). The fact that I was forced to see this in 3D, a format which I have yet to be properly impressed by (Toy Story 3 came close, but was perfect without it) did not bode well with me, nor did the constant complaints from the dude who is forced week upon week to watch bad horror with me, hereafter referred to as Randall, since we have been compared to Dante and Randall from the universe of Kevin Smith movies. He also happens, like Randall, to hate everyone, and everything seems stupid to him. And he is terribly, stomach-achingly funny. Anyway, the point is, he was not excited, and the glasses were hurting his eyes before the film even began.
"Can we fuck now?" "Hush, he's doing something totally normal for a human being"
And to that end, Mc Lovin turns up, only this time he's paranoid and swears a lot more. It turns out he's "Evil" Ed, which is an odd casting choice, but since Christopher Mintz-Plasse is a fairly gifted actor, I wasn't annoyed at his presence. Moreover, I was delighted to see Imogen Poots - Brit actress and star of the excellent Chatroom turn up as Brewster's hot, popular chick girlfriend. Other than those three, the other teens on the sidelines are irritating as hell. One of them speaks with a permanent stoner tongue, which is absolutely infuriating. Luckily, he only has a few lines. Speaking of which, the clunky dialogue doesn't help. It's so bad it's like it was stolen from the "Understanding Teen Lingo" handbook for out-of-touch adults. The teens themselves look pained even delivering their lines.
For those who don't know the story, it's very simple. A handsome, mysterious man moves in next door to Brewster, and then kids start disappearing. Ed tries to warn him, but he ignores him because he's an asshole and only wants to get laid. Then Ed disappears and somehow that makes Charlie give a shit again, and he starts stalking his neighbour to the point of madness, till the neighbour flips the shit and comes after him with a vengeance. The plot to the original film was perfect, so why the makers of this reboot felt the need to update it for modern audiences by making Charlie into an arsehole, who abandons his friends for a chick, is beyond me. It makes it near-impossible for us to care whether he lives or dies.
He's not mourning her passing, despite what it looks like
As for Farrell; he's definitely a handsome, charming man, but a bloodthirsty vampire he is not. Even when he's chowing down, it's so easy to just roll one's eyes and imagine him making fun of Brendan Gleeson. It's not that he isn't a good actor, because he is. And it's not that he hasn't got the ability to be scary, because as the scumbag, Le Hiff, in Intermission, he was totally believable, as a heartless arsehole who punched a girl in the face, just to rob the till. But, as a vampire, he doesn't quite get there.
It doesn't help that Stuart Townsend, a fellow countryman, played a far superior, sexier and scarier vampire in Queen Of The Damned. I spent most of that film lusting after him, but when he fed, I believed it, and it was scary (I still wanted him, but that's part of my perversion, as opposed to his acting). Farrell does a good job of being an asshole, but he's not a believable vampire. He's got some funny lines, and he is suitably suave and attractive, but the show is stolen from him by the excellent David Tennant, who is criminally underused here, as Peter Vincent.
Much like Roddy Mc Dowall in the original, Tennant steals every scene he's in, playing a deliciously wretched, modern version of Peter Vincent, who stars in his own vampire-themed Vegas show, complete with wig, leather pants (have mercy!) and fake tattoos. Some critics have claimed the role would've been better suited to Russell Brand, or even that Tennant is playing him somewhat, but I completely disagree. Tennant brings a sexiness and a mischief to the role that Brand could only dream of, although he is a talented actor and comic, I must admit. Tennant chews the scenery as usual, and does go a little Doctor Who towards the end, but mostly he just struts around, clad in leather, drinking constantly and swearing like a sailor - all cynicism and with eyes that have seen too much. He gets all of the best lines and provides a running commentary for the audience, complete with "Holy shit!" moments and with laugh-out-loud disbelief at whatever is happening to him at the time. He is an absolute joy to behold and, although it is Charlie who eventually defeats Vampire Colin Farrell (spoiler!), sadly it is David Tennant I remembered most fondly.
He goes a little Doctor Who for a moment, but it's rather enjoyable
It must be said that there's not a lot to like here. David Tennant is without a doubt the best part of the film, and he's not in it nearly enough. Christopher Mintz-Plasse is funny and competent, but is done away with far too early. Colin Farrell does not convince as anything more than a suave ladies man. And the teenagers, besides Imogen Poots, plod through their lines with not nearly enough self-referential humour (the best line coming from Mintz-Plasse, "I'm so fucking mad that you think I read Twilight"). Where the kids in the original Fright Night were freaked out but determined to fight back, those in the remake are all slack-jawed disbelief, laced with over-the-top paranoia. Whenever I watch a horror movie, I try to imagine how my mates and I would react, were we to end up in the same situation. We certainly wouldn't have acted like the kids in this. However, going to Peter Vincent is a great idea.
How dare you waste the time of firemen with your Satanic burning of crosses!?
As pointed out by Randall before the film even began, the 3D really doesn't make sense here. Vampire films, by their very nature, are dark. 3D, by its very nature, makes everything darker, so why use it in a vampire film? The unfortunate result of this is that much of Fright Night is too dark and murky for the viewer to decipher what the hell is going on, or who's onscreen. I took off my glasses several times, just to check if it was Colin Farrell I was looking at. If the story were good enough, or funny, or properly scary, the 3D would add another element to it. And, although there are moments when the effects are used properly, e.g. when a vampire explodes in the sun and the blood and guts fly towards the audience, for the most part it's all just a bit murky and bland.
As for being genuinely scary, there are some moments of dread and tension. However, for the most part, this a fairly family-friendly affair, which only earned its 15A certificate due to swearing and sexual references (I'm guessing). A scene in an all-white corridor, where Colin Farrell has his victims imprisoned, is fairly creepy. But I spent most of the running time waiting for the big battle to come at the end, and even that fell slightly flat. The sight of newborn vampires crawling out of the soil should've been scary, but it was just strange. Furthermore, Colin Farrell's admission that he killed Peter Vincent's parents made me and Randall roll our eyes so far back into our heads, I worried they'd never return to the other side.
It's difficult to make a horror comedy, because both elements have to be right. And, to echo the sentiment of the fantastic Mark Kermode, Fright Night just isn't scary or funny enough to be vert memorable. It's enjoyable but bland, funny but boring, creepy but not scary. Overall, a poor effort to redo a film that did not need to be remade. There was one great element to it, with which I will leave you.
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