So, I'm kinda cheating this week... Although I'm sticking with the vampire theme of last week, I've chosen to review a movie that I've seen countless times, a movie I adore with all of my little goth heart, but one for which nobody else seems to share my enthusiasm. I am, of course, referring to Queen Of The Damned, which shockingly enough, is ten years old next year. Damn, that makes me feel old. I became obsessed with this film pretty much instantaneously. There were two main reasons why - the incredible soundtrack, created by Richard Gibbs and Jonathan Davis, and the delicious Stuart Townsend, in the role of vampire turned rockstar, Lestat. My tastes have developed somewhat over the years, thankfully, so I decided to do a so-called "nostalgia check" on this, one of my favourite films, and try to discover what my 23-year-old self really thinks of it, while being as objective as possible.
Anne Rice has written a lot of silly, sexy vampire fiction. And Queen Of The Damned, by extension, is a silly, sexy vampire film. It's worth noting that it's aged significantly since its original release. The fact there's no Twitter or Facebook, or even Google, is strangely off-putting throughout, especially since, I feel, if this were set nowadays, there would've been less people who believed Lestat's story about being a vampire. And the fact his band are only playing one gig ever because, as he puts it, "I don't like repeating myself" is laughable. Being a vampire is a gimmick, but not enough of a gimmick to justify only playing one show for one's entire musical career. Isn't that Dir En Grey dude supposedly a vampire? Lucky his band are so shit.
The acting is pretty dreadful across the board. The vampires all speak in that ridiculously over the top Transylvanian tongue, especially the late Aaliyah, as the titular Queen, who is actually supposed to be from Egypt. Stuart Townsend, one of our countrymen, had a special dialect coach for the film, and also learned to play the fiddle. Although he does a very good job of being sexy throughout, and faily scary at times too, him being a rock star doesn't really come off - especially when it's Jon Davis's iconic, one-of-a-kind voice that's coming out of his mouth when he sings. A flashback to his creation does nothing to move the story along, although his maker, Marius, seems to be the only one having any fun throughout the film. Lestat is an incredibly miserable character, whining about being alone for eternity. For fuck's sake, he's a vampire! He can kill anyone he wants!
Whoever made this, thank you
Despite the title, this is very much Townsend's movie. He struts around in leather pants like Colin Farrell only wishes he could, and he does give genuine (forgive me) bite to the role. But the film is forgettable, and the story is fairly stupid. And, as previously stated, he is fairly emo at times. The character of Jessie is ridiculously needy and desperate, despite her ties to the strong, immortal vampire family. She stalks Lestat throughout the film and then lets him kill her - all to prove that she's...what, exactly? Strong? Independent? She also has no idea how to dress to go to a vampire club, or a rock show, despite the fact Lestat refers to her as a "London goth". Shame on you, producers! You're making a vampire movie!
As much as I hate to say it, Queen Of The Damned really does not hold up. It feels incredibly dated, which I wasn't expecting, and although the soundtrack is still fantastic, it's about the only truly interesting thing about the film. The story is fairly silly, especially ten years later in the digital age, and the acting is poor at best. That's not to say I won't watch it again, because I most definitely will, but let's just say that the Jon Davis cameo, as a ticket tout, is about the only thing that truly gets me excited about watching this these days. And Stuart Townsend in leather pants.
Next time....more vampire stuff! And, will I finally see Final Destination 5?
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